F.O.C.U.S. on What Matters!

This is an awkward time of year for leaders—especially entrepreneurs—to keep their focus. Would you agree?

There is the tension of driving hard to finish well 2010 year end goals and the immediate need to formulate the strategic plan for profitability in 2011. Then there are the company parties and pressure of networking at countless other gatherings. Did I mention dealing with all the hangovers and sugar comas? Next comes the vacation of key staff, the inconvenient nasty weather, and what are you going to do for Christmas bonuses, anyway? Pile on the family obligations and the need to be present and available for neighborhood parties, school productions, annual Christmas letters, and stockings hung by the chimney with care! All of this with the contstant pressure of “Just try to be nice!”

Listen to Yourself

You may actually be more like the guilt-filled leader who is thinking, I don’t really feel like being here. Do you have a sense of personal burn-out from this pretty erratic and somewhat difficult but yet-not-as-hard-as-last year?  Have you pushed yourself to do more with less and now find your tank is empty?

As your coach, I am inviting you to listen to that still small voice that may be asking you to make time to reflect, sharpen the saw and focus on what matters.

You may not have the luxury to just leave the office (if you do, please do everyone a favor and leave), but we all can find moments to intentionally reflect. I would like to encourage you to focus on what you want this holiday season to be. That simple act can do wonders for your clarity as you set your intentions for 2011. Next step is to get support from your coach, partner, spouse or peer group to keep that focus!

Get in F.O.C.U.S.

I love acronyms so here are a few things to F.O.C.U.S. in on.

First things first! Prioritize your core values first! No theory and feel-good platitudes here. Seriously, what matters most to you as a person? Honor it! Put your money, time, and energy where your mouth is and not what “you wish for.” Focus on your priorities and set boundaries around what steals time, energy, and money from the peoeple and things you value most. This is not optional if you want to live an intentional life.

Others. Think others. How can you serve others this season versus seek to be served?  Leadership is always about serving those who serve you. What can you do to show your appreciation to others? How can you put others first this season? Reflect on what would you do if the important others were not in your life tomorrow? Let them know today how important they are to you. If not now, when?

Celebrate what has gone right this year. This year may have been easier than last year, but it has not been easy. Celebrate with others the wins. Celebrate with your family the great advances. Celebrate with your team the contribution of individuals and the collective win. We do not celebrate enough so take this season to use your words and celebrate! Then use what has worked well to simplify your life even more. It is in the time of celebrating we are able to clearly see people’s talents and we can use that to focus on the strengths of both yourself and others.

Uphold your promises. Make it your ambition to under-promise and over-deliver. Might I add, apply this especially to your kids. It absolutely makes me sick when I see parents have to break even a small promise to their wide-eyed expectant children. I know it’s inevitable but can we make it our ambition not to! Your integrity is tested more with your words and promises than anywhere else. Uphold your integrity keep: your promises. (And while I am at it… don’t tell someone—anyone—you will be there and then arrive late or don’t even bother calling. Or say you will call right back and never do. Or say “e-mail me” and don’t answer. Be impeccable with your words, and seek forgiveness when you compromise it! Like my dad used to tell me, “Sis, think before you speak.” It is better to say nothing and disappoint in the moment than to be the hero with a promise you are unable to uphold in the long term.)

Simplify everything. I know you hear this from me all the time, but seriously, what can you get rid of in your life? What can you say no to, so that you can say yes to what matters? Focus in on what and who takes your time, energy, and resources. What boundaries do you need to set so that you are honoring your values? What beliefs no longer serve you? What junk in your house, office, car, files, etc., needs to be thrown out to bring clarity? If you are burned out, clean out your drawers, glove compartment, sock drawer and think, How can I live more simply? This is a silly example, but I remember the year I threw out all my white socks and bought all matching. Never worried again about missing socks. What can you do to simplify? Here is a fun challenge if you need something to jumpstart ya!

Season-of-No-Regret Greetings!

I wish you a season of no regret. I desire you to enter 2011 refreshed, aligned, and focused on what matters most. I invite you to invest in your own development and greatness by hiring a coach or taking Life 301 or reading a good book to get you to your next level.

I will be back just before the dawn of 2011 with your New Year Challenge! Until then—

Be the Best You Can Be!

Shandel

The MVP Award Goes to Anita Lane!

Most of you are used to me highlighting business success and breakthroughs. This month’s MVP takes on a bit more of a personal breakthrough that will inspire any person to take on big challenges with one small step at a time. Anita Lane and I met in a community group we both attended. She won my heart and I could see so much potential in her and wanted to invest in her. Since she is one of the best estheticians in Reno, I suggested we trade services. At first, she was fearful to even set three-month goals. Looking at her life goals, we discovered the first step was to simply enjoy Movement (versus exercise) on a weekly basis. I will let her tell you the result, but I am so moved by her story. Everyone who knows her adores her, and if you live in Reno — I highly recommend her facials. I know you will enjoy Anita’s story.

Here’s Anita…

Looking back a year ago at the start of Life 301, I would not have thought that I would have come so far with my main goal of making movement a part of my life. Life 301 and Shandel showed me what I was about, so that I could use that as “fuel” to get me where I want to be in this life. Instead of trying to be someone else, I could be me and learn to work with how I am wired. At that time, I didn’t really know how much this goal meant in changing my belief system about myself. For so long I had fear of being better than I was, because I didn’t think I was worth being better than I was. I thought I wasn’t worth taking care of. Wow, how wrong I was.

One year later, I am celebrating the end of a 10-week Ultimate Body Challenge. Basically, I’ve gone from a walk one to two times a week to a high-intensity, body challenging workout five to seven times a week. This is a huge accomplishment for me. Before Life 301, I had tremendous struggles with getting movement to be a part of my life. This whole year has been a progression towards having victory in this area. Now, I am looking at what to do next to challenge myself in the area of fitness! I’ve learned that I need variety and challenge to inspire me to move this body God gave me. I look forward to seeing what is next for me in this area as I stay open to caring for myself.

Thank you!

Anita Lane

It’s Simple, It’s Just Not Easy

Happy November Friends!

This month’s newsletter was inspired by something that happened quite a few years ago at a coffee shop.  I had this client who was at a very, very low point.  I asked her to share her story with me and then her dreams.  She was basically lost and near despair in her hopelessness.  She needed help that was beyond herself and frankly beyond my behavior modification techniques.  I knew we needed to help her find her purpose and get anchored before she drifted off into her own misery.  Sadly, our time came to a close at not a good time.  

I was conflicted as I had to go to meet another client who was waiting but I had time after this second meeting. Luckily, she did too!  So I gave her my little purse Bible and said here read this and turned to the book of John ( you know the famous John 3:16 at football games).

When I came back in an hour, she was teary and said  ”Can it really be that simple? It seems too simple to be true!”   I laughed and smiled, because I knew what she meant, what she was talking about.  I took her hands in mine and said, “Sister, it is indeed simple and it is NOT EASY.”  Her life changed right there at the Mercer Island Starbucks and she found hope that day and since that time has not only found joy and peace in her life – but is now helping so many women in similar situations find the simple solutions that are not easy.

I just had to share the inside scoop with my “friends”

THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!

Shandel

Recently, I asked a client who was juggling a busy life with a million moving parts what his payoff was. His answer was insightful, “I guess because not many people can handle the level of complexity I face daily.” My next question was what was the COST for this lifestyle? His response was brilliant: “Busy-ness,” at the cost of working toward the things that matter most to him and his long-term vision.

Yes, he was getting his emotional need of accomplishment fulfilled. But at an expensive long-term cost.

My role was to help him begin the process of simplifying everything. To work smarter, not harder, toward what really matters. So we started by identifying the “have to’s” in his schedule. It wasn’t long that I heard him say, “Hey, this simplifying is hard.”

Yes! It is! Simple make look easy in the dictionary, but in reality what is simple to do is not necessary easy to do. Especially at first. Think about any difficulty you have and picture the solution. Chances are, the answer is not difficult or complicated and it is not the easy thing to do.

Hard to Break Old Habits

Take the concept of losing weight. More whole foods, less processed foods, more exercise, less calories, more sleep, less stress—that should take care of it. Simple, right? Yet we see by USA obesity rates that losing weight must not be easy or more people would do it! Easy is drive-thru on the way home and a movie on the couch after a long day at the computer. Yet in the end, the cost is high, is it not? So, then we swing to the other extreme and read a hundred books on dieting and follow crazy methods and caloric measurements so restrictive and complicated we eventually give up and go back to … easy. We don’t stop to consider the simple method. Why? Because it’s hard to break old habits. The amount of discipline to do what’s simple can be crushing!

Leaders, consider the lack of productivity and the low morale in your work culture. What’s the simple answer? Invest in the lives of your people, empower and equip the team, and let go of controlling every detail (in other words, trust!). Oh, but that is not easy, is it, my friends? Instead what do we do? We complicate our processes, procedures, systems, and emails — so we don’t have to deal with the humans. We tell ourselves the lie that all this nonsense helps solve the overwhelm.

It’s okay to LOL at yourself. I do!

What Is the Reward?

What is the cost you are paying to live a highly complicated, difficult life? How about the cost when the pendulum swings and you give up into the path of least resistance?

What if you could simplify everything? More importantly, what if you could simplify everything for the team you lead, and be able to trust that what needs to get done will get done? What would the reward be now and in the future?

Seriously, what if you did not get your worth from how “busy” and complex your life is, and instead made the choice to intentionally delete everything that does not align with your values?

This is what would happen: You would probably be more fulfilled, more focused, and a heck of a lot more fun to be around!

Lining Up with Your Values

Values help you make better decisions faster. Unfortunately, they are the first thing we compromise in a complicated life!

When our expectation is that life is suppose to be easy, we get off course. The challenge is to not confuse simple living with an easy life. Doing the right thing takes risk, a change of belief systems, and indeed includes some suffering. It takes discipline and vision.

Trained leaders are like trained athletes: they invest in their training. Training takes having a teachable mind and a disciplined nature. The most arrogant leaders I know are not trained well because they think they are Olympians by nature (aka the smartest person in the room.) The truth is, the more talented the athlete, the more they invest in their life to bring out their very best and offer it to the game. They push themselves through trials, which in the end breeds the character required of a leader.

How complicated is your life? How fulfilling is your life? What can you simplify today and what is the reward for you and those you lead? Those you love? Those who matter most?

 

Joyful or Judgmental?

Dear Friends,

I know most of you are on my newsletter list but wanted to share this just in case you did not get it last week.  My heart is very moved by this subject as I see more and more angry people not dealing with their inner anger.  They have not been taught how to deal with their hurt, shame, and thus anger so their only relief is to be critical.  Joy is such an amazing gift and I see people all around me having happy moments and staying busy enough to feel important – but to truly experience joy well not as often as they would like.  

Don’t turn in your joy card suspend judgment long enough to see other people’s pain, circumstances and differences. Hope you enjoy it and would love to know your thoughts.

Appreciate you taking the time to read this!

Shandel

Joyful or Judgmental: Which Describes You Best?

Recently, I was on a leadership retreat, and in a moment of vulnerability a few of us disclosed that it had been years since we could describe our everyday inner life with a sense of ongoing joy. It wasn’t that life was bad; in fact it was good. It wasn’t that there was no laughter and good times. There was lots of that. It was just that that inner sense of joy had been missing for a long time. The next morning it hit me that the joy was missing because criticism abounded.

Have you lost your joy and creativity? If so, you may want to take a moment and evaluate if you are being critical and judgmental. You may have fleeting moments of feeling happy or even a night of laughter, but are they short-lived because that inner critic starts chattering again? 

Joy and criticism cannot co-exist. Harsh judgment of others and constant criticism are not found in a truly joyful happy person. When you choose to be judgmental and criticize, you turn in your joy card.

Joy or Judgment

Is your leadership style marked by joy or judgment?

Now, you know me well enough to know I am not talking about overlooking things that are blatantly wrong or hurtful. I certainly believe in exercising a critical mind to find error and identify things that are wrong. We should have keen discernment and call out injustice, bad behavior, and falseness.

What I am talking about is letting the power and responsibility of leadership morph into thinking that you are godlike, that your way is the way the world and others should operate, and that everyone else is an idiot and just don’t “get it.”

When you set yourself up as the one who knows best, well, that may be fine for a while but it’s ultimately lonely. You will not find joy in that self-protected state, and you certainly won’t bring joy… to anyone!

Your greatest strength of being uber smart, driven, and visionary, may tempt you to use that talent to judge others and hold them in contempt for not living up to your standard. (What if you could turn that incredible talent into a tool to lead with confidence and find joy in watching others operate in their unique gifts as you guide them to places they never dreamed?)

Joy Energizes; Guilt Drags

Secure and confident people have a radiant, contagious peace and calmness that allows them to find joy in the journey without a constant need to judge for their own sense of self. Insecure people judge others, so that they can find a moment of relief from their inner critic.

Unfortunately, those who criticize themselves will in turn criticize others. Why? They have no joy to give, no vitality, no greatness because nothing is ever good enough.

Some people see that relentless “never-good-enough” attitude as their reason for success. That is a lie. I believe you can have a healthy contentment and joy that actually creates more energy and vision to lead forward. Joy energizes a purpose and vision that pulls you forward into what you were created to be and do. In contrast, guilt drags you along with a ball and chain, telling you you’re still not quite good enough yet.

Instead of beating yourself and others up with guilt and judgment to follow you, you can lead with joy, which comes from a confidence and curiosity of what’s ahead.

S.T.O.P. Your Inner Critic

I invite you to an honest evaluation of your leadership style that starts in your inner person. Stop justifying your cynical, critical spirit. Swap it with joy. The negative inner critic does not provide a good return on your energy. It makes you look small and insecure. You have so much to offer. Don’t settle for this! Say to yourself, “It’s not worth turning in my joy card.”

When you start talking or thinking in a judgmental way of yourself or of others, remember to S.T.O.P.!

Four quick tips to S.T.O.P. the negative critic and become a joy giver and receiver:

Separate your expectations and personal preference to see reality and creativity.
Thankful: It’s hard to be critical and thankful at the same time. Be grateful!
Overlook or confront? If you are not going to confront something, then overlook it. If you can’t overlook it, then confront it! Do not allow yourself another choice.
Perspective: Is what you are all worked up about worth giving up joy for? 

Back from Vacation! Ask Shandel Show Posted!

Hi FRIENDS!

I know you haven’t heard from me from this blog in some time as I have been working hard on the business stuff …and still working on the rebranding, etc.  = excuses (lame ones!)

BUT after a very restful vacation I am inspired to get back to my SHANDEL blog as well as the TRUE LIFE INC one!   Must have been all the inspiration from the nieces and nephews never ending energy and creativity!

Now that we have an official podcast we can get you the ASK SHANDEL show to you in your itunes – how cool is that?  AND we are running that through the TRUE LIFE INC site.  I am hoping you will subscribe there as this site will be more and more personal once I get my act together.  :)

Here’s what I posted with a link to listen in!

Enjoy!

s2

Once we got past our pillow talk we took a deep dive into the connection between happiness and a simpler life.  The topic was inspired by an article I posted on facebook discussing how people can consume less and in return have more JOY!  For this couple, the formula for more happiness included cutting out stuff that doesn’t matter and living a clutter free life.

Segment 2 we got a bit more practical in what we can do NOW to downsize our lives and experience more happiness!

Here are a few steps can you take to live a simpler life:

1.  Get out of debt!

2.  Clear the clutter

3.  Identify the emotional attachment you have to your stuff.

4.  Visualize the life you want to have and take small steps each year, month, week, and day in that direction.

5. This is just what comes to top of mind as there are many minor steps but you have to take the first one.

The point on simplifying, getting out debt, and clearing the clutter is it frees us up to focus on our purpose and the great things in our lives.  If you are interested in REALLY taking the first step consider our next LIFE 301 class that starts September 16th!

The show ended on an encouraging note as a listener called in to share her story.  She heard us on an earlier “Ask Shandel” show discussing the Clear The Clutter Challenge and shared how it has changed her life.  You will love her story!

What will you do to simplify your life and BE HAPPY?

Your Coach Loves You!

Shandel

Listen to the Radio Show here.

Check out our upcoming Life 301 class here.

What’s Love Got To Do With It Anyway?

I found myself a little irritable lately at certain things and people.  When I find it is a theme with a bunch of people, I set out to find the common denominator and what I find is usually… ME.  Whatever really bugs us in other people is usually something that needs fixing in us at some level.  It may manifest in a completely opposite manner but if you ask enough “why” questions you’ll find its an issue within  you that needs to be exposed. Maybe that is why people like dogs more than people?  I don’t know but relationships are tough!

My recent exploration of my ugliness has led me to the famous love chapter.  For some of you, the last time you saw it was on the program of your buddy’s wedding who is now on to wife #2.  But as I re-read it I was totally convicted about my own irritability and selfishness.  I’ll give it to you in two different versions because they both sting a little so thought you might want to join in my pain a bit as we venture into character development together.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (I Cor. 13:4-7 NIV)

Okay if that wording didn’t hit you maybe this one will…

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails.”  (I Cor. 13:4-7 ESV)

Well – that’s about all I got for you today because if you can’t see the lesson for yourself after reading that -  I can’t really help your narcissism.  I got my own to deal with and I am taking it seriously.  Did they really say that love is not IRRITABLE?  Does it really mean ALL as in ALL…. YEP!  UGH!

Your Fellow Love Seeker -

Shandel

Check out Ask Shandel Podcast

We have moved the ASK SHANDEL show to a podcast so you can join in on the fun two ways…

Subscribe and go to our True Life Inc Blog or subscribe via Itunes!

Here’s the teaser for you!

Fun show this week as we talked about Family Shockers and the great need of vision, trust, and communication. We are always looking to answer your questions so leave them in a comment or send us an email. Remember when in doubt – be real, be authentic, be true to who you were designed to be!

We are taking registrations now for our April Life 301 classes. This workshop is one I recommend to every person who desires to take their life to the next level and life with intentionality. When will you take the necessary steps to live your best life now?

If you are looking to make a change in your career or take it to the next level – check out our brand new class – pilot pricing for our April class! CAREER DISCOVERY: For those who feel stuck, confused, frustrated, or just plain lost in their careers – and you don’t even know why – this class is designed to help analyze what’s going on “under the hood.” This class will not tell you which career to embark on, but instead is designed to help you to explore your core values, passions, motivators, definition of rewards and goals, and to help you to discover what career fulfillment looks like for you. Also covered are the common misconceptions and assumptions around career fields, fulfillment, and direction. Class Includes: 3 one-hour group sessions (by phone), audio mp3, e-book, teaching by Shandel, and PIAV discovery process workbook. Price: $175 for this pilot class – sign up here

I love being your coach!

Live from Seattle Radio Show – Last Day to Register for Women’s Leadership Summit

Had a great time hosting Live From Seattle and having a chance to talk about the 2010 Women’s Leadership Summit.  Cathy Likas (@likasorganic) was our winner and will be attending the Summit to learn how to take her business and life to the next level.

Listen in here

We have 18 spots left so sign up today.  Please spread the news to women who want to make a difference!

Already attending the Summit?  Please make sure you have taken your assessment, printed it out, and reading through it.  We are going to put that baby to work at the Summit.

If not now, when?

March 13th Women’s Summit – 8 days left to register!s

One week left to register sign up here!

Anne Marie (speaker), Melody Biringer (sponsor) and Shandel Slaten (me

I have been a bad blogger and I have a great excuse!  I woke up 28 days ago with this amazing idea of rallying the women leaders in Seattle to this super cool event.  In January, Target Training International honored me as their “Coach of The Year” Then I had special training in a brand new product we have out called the DNA Performance Report.  With that combo I was given access at a reduced rate for reports run in the month of February, so my first thought was how can I give this to as many people as possible!!  Surveys from clients had told me they wanted a women only class so I thought let’s do it NOW!

I called my good friend Anne Marie Faiola as she was named the “Washington’s Woman Business Owner of the Year” and my other buddy Molly Wilmot who launched her new brand PINKS Original Bakery on February 14th.  They said yes!  That day, I secured a venue right away and in a perfect downtown location. (thanks to Mars Hill Church for the awesome space)… and wha-la – the Summit!

Then came the hard part…how do I get 150 women who really want to make a difference and live a life that matters into the room?  Not just anyone – I want the right ones.   Then sent it out to a few key people in my network and they have been so generous in getting the word out and now we are almost full.

Its the coolest eclectic group and it fires me up.  I have CEOs bringing their teenage daughters and companies sending a group of their women for a team building event.  A special thanks to Real Networks for investing in 15 of their women!  How cool is that!  The investment of leaders into other leaders is so contagious and honoring!

I do hope you women will take this last minute chance to invest in YOU and the people in your life you want to impact.

For you women who cannot attend – we are going to form group coaching classes after the event that start in April.  Let me know if you are interested and I will send you more info!

Thank you to our Sponsors:

Pinks Original Bakery

Crave Seattle

The Well – Professional Women’s Group

True Life Coaching, Inc.

The Strong Word

Constellation & Co.

If not now, when?

Your Coach,

P.S. The Coach’s Time Out newsletter comes out tomorrow – if you are not a subscriber sign up today!

Ask Shandel Radio show check out truelifeinc while you’re at it

Okay in case you have not subscribed to my True Life, Inc Blog – here is the link so you can catch this week’s radio show in podcast format.  Soon we’ll have the archives as well. Fun!

Here’s the gist below and the link.. http://www.truelifeinc.com/?p=91

Coming into the show after an hour of banter on Trey calling Bill fat, we headed right into communication.  LOL!

On this segment of Ask Shandel we talked about Relationships, Communication, Respect, and Trust.  Filled with humor and fun loving dialogue with Bill, Connie and Trey.

Take a few moments to brush up on a few communication tips to take your relationship to the next level.

Have a few more communication tips and tricks?  Share please!