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(I would love your questions for the “Ask Shandel” radio show or leave your comments below.)
TRUST ME ON THIS!
Steven M.R. Covey boldy states that the #1 Leadership Competency in the new global economy is trust.
Our last discussion was on forgiveness in the workplace. Now we need to discover that while forgiveness and trust work hand in hand to create the most meaningful and effective relationships, trust is not the same as forgiveness.
Most of you know my niche is coaching leaders to get results by taking their team, business and life to the next level. This process starts by addressing unresolved conflict, immediately improving communication, and building high trust so that we can achieve results with a sustainable outcome. Do you realize that every week a team of eight could be easily wasting 10 to 40 hours a week on the emotional energy caused by the erosion of trust and poor communication?
And don’t think you are immune. It happens to every team, especially with fast-growth companies, and with post-recession layoffs and cuts. And I’m not even accounting for your personal life and what that is costing you.
PAYING ATTENTION
Trust is something that must be inspired, repaired, and maintained on an ongoing basis. Trust is a continual fluid process that you must always pay attention to. I have seen trust erode before my very eyes and I have seen trust renewed as well. Do not believe it when people say trust cannot be restored – it can. It may never go back to what it was but, with forgiveness, it can go forward into something amazing and beautiful.
As a leader, it is your job to create and demand the culture be one where people go to great lengths to trust themselves, their team members, and the fact that the organization is doing the right thing for the right reason.
So what exactly is trust?
A WASTE OF TIME
I am going to use one of my favorite tools from Patrick Lencioni’s work on team trust. He says that trust is all about vulnerability.
“We must LEARN to be comfortable being open, even exposed to each other around our failures, weaknesses, even fears. People who refuse or are afraid to admit the truth about themselves will end up engaging in political behavior that wastes everyone’s time and agenda.”1
My friends, he is right on!
Without trust, you and your employees or teammates can’t build anything together because everyone is worried about protecting themselves and what belongs to them. When there is unforgiveness in the mix, you can’t partner with that person to build because you are protecting yourself and keeping them at a safe distance. And until you forgive the person, you can’t start the process of building anything with them especially not trust.
However, gaining trust takes a change of filters and perceptions. It requires an authenticity and vulnerability that few people choose to live out.
There are ways to accelerate the building of trust but it starts with what I call the “A.H.A. moment.” First comes the Awareness that not everyone thinks as you do, nor should they. Add to that the Humility to admit you may share in being part of the problem because you were unaware, and therefore now you want to be part of the solution. Finally, trust begins to take root through our Acceptance of help to grow and see ourselves and others are all in process toward the same result. One thing is certain, you cannot restore trust alone; you need help. And of course, that’s the hardest part for leaders – asking for help!
TRUST YOURSELF
So where do you start? As a leader, trust begins with you; the troops will follow. Trust begins with raising the level of trust you have in yourself. That comes before trust can be fully placed in other people. This requires a high level of commitment and continual growth. Trust is never set in stone and checked off the list, it must be invested in regularly and frequently.
Think about how much time is wasted because we don’t trust ourselves. When we have a lack of trust internally; we doubt and question, we waste time over analyzing. We waver in decision making, we beat ourselves up with negative self talk, and we, of course then, cannot trust other people. Think of the creative energy that is drained and the time lost because of our lack of trust.
Developing self-trust leads to a new lease on life. You are able to live with clarity and when you trust yourself you can easily focus on what needs to be done and what can be left until tomorrow. When you live and honor your purpose and values, it becomes easier to know what to say yes to and no to. This level of self trust continues to feed upon itself and grow.
ASKING FOR HELP
The reward is that when you have trust things get done faster and easier yielding a higher return in the investment of time and energy as well as joy in the workplace. Stephen Covey makes a good point that people who trust each other will overlook and forgive communication faux pas, whereas if you do not have trust even the most carefully scripted and spoken communication will be take the wrong way. I bet that has happened to you this week!
So when will you turn the tide? Ask for help? If not now, when?
What step can you take to trust yourself and your team (even if that is your spouse) today?
Your Coach Loves You,
Shandel
1 “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team” Team Assessment by Patrick Lencioni
MVP Award — Succesful People Living with Intention: Missy Leibold
What a special MVP we have this month! Missy Leibold was introduced to me by her sister, who said, “I think she is ready!”, and she was right! Tragedy had hit Missy’s life. After a good period of grieving her loss, she said she was ready for her future to take shape. She jumped in and immediately started doing the work of learning who she was, how she was wired, and why she was uniquely placed right here right now. Her insights from the Life 301 class and our 1:1 coaching allowed her to look inside while pushing forward on her outward goal. Her efforts have yielded amazing results. She has a life that honors her values and plays to her strengths. If you are looking to planning your honeymoon, need a second one, or want a dream vacation – contact Missy at missy@beachbumvacation.com
Here’s Missy…
When I came to Shandel, I was completely broken over the unexpected loss of my husband on top of years of working under poor leadership. I am in the travel industry and as the times have changed, we attempted to change with it. I could taste success, but it seemed to always be a few inches from my fingertips. My attitude had slipped to an all-time low and I was ready to walk away from a profession I love dearly.
My perceptive sister offered me the gift of working with True Life Coaching for 3 months. I said yes, as I knew I was ready for the change and new season.
We started right in and dug deep into my soul to learn what my values are and what really gets my blood pumping. I enrolled in the Life 301 class and had 1:1 coaching on the off weeks to really excel my growth and daily “aha’s!” Through my experience, I drew closer to my true values, which included my relationship with God, and gained a beautiful new understanding of myself. It was an amazing realization that it wasn’t the profession I should change, but my scenery. I did not have to recreate myself – I had to live by my values!
Therefore, I took action immediately. I recalled a colleague who had a company I truly admired and that they specialized in honeymoon dream vacations and so one of my coaching assignments was to give them a call. Within a few weeks, I resigned from my job of ten years and before my coaching agreement was complete – I had started my dream job! I now honor my values on a daily basis – I work from home for a company I believe in and I have total freedom. In my first month, I have more sales than the last four months at my previous job. Life is good!
Missy Leibold